All these years, the spirit of Christmas always lifted my moods, no matter what could be happening in my life. I feel that this year, I am going through the motions but factors outside of my control are a heavy damper on my Christmas spirit. I just need to remember the profound true meaning of Christmas and try to find solace and peace. I am not one to disguise behind a business face, I will continue to put all my energy into my family, my work, my friends... but I am afraid....what happens when the energy runs out? Do I get stuck on the mountain ? ....do I rest and gather my inner forces?. The single moment in my life that required the most will power, was the last hour reaching the top of Kilimanjaro, when my head felt about to explode, with nausea from mountain sickness... I kept going, forced myself to look to the top, breath in, breath out... These times are very challenging and humbling, I need to learn acceptance and perhaps defeat.
Meanwhile, I will keep going, breath in...breath out...
At night, when all is quiet, I lay on my daybed, take in the silence, the scent of the tree, the fluttering lights and think of Christmas pasts.
Presents are wrapped, large or small... I love giving presents and it is my small way to say thank you... I care... to everyone who works with me at Interieurs or at home, my friends, my family ... a couple of years past, my mother who lives in France, was very ill. I sent her a Christmas tree with boxes upon boxes of ornaments and she did the most wonderful thing ... on her visit to the hospital right before Christmas, she arrived ladden with the boxes filled with the beautiful ornaments and garlands and gave them to the nurses to decorate the halls of the wing where she spent so many days. This is the true spirit of Christmas, giving, sharing , bringing a little smile in some stranger's life who needs it more than you do.
Promise of brighter days to come